Wednesday, November 10, 2010

my venture to dallas.

After a night spent with my mom in a hotel, I woke up bright and early on November 4, 2010 to fly out of New Orleans to Dallas. I left a day early for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day in order to prepare myself, gather last minute items, and to spend time with a friend of mine from the Dallas area! I sat down on the plane and things were well. To my left was a man with one of the largest mustaches I have ever seen and to my right was an older man wearing a costume boat captain hat identical the one I wore to the Delta Tau Delta costume party last week. I love New Orleans.

While sitting at the gate waiting to depart I was anxious and decided to mess with the tray table in front of me to distract myself. The second I touched the little nob, it broke off. Is it just me, or is this how the premonition on Final Destination began? Okay, no more playing with the tray table. Fortunately, the plane did NOT blow up on take off, and the flight was well underway. Once high in the sky, the attendants brought out their little cart to hand out drinks. parched, I was relieved to see them come my way. The guy looks directly at me, says a friendly hello, then looks at mustache man to my left. "What can we get you to drink?" He says he isn't thirsty, and they roll along. No drinks allowed for Stephani I guess. Ah well.

As everyone knows, Christmas is just around the corner. And while I was traveling to Dallas, I killed time on the plane by reading one of my favorite magazines: Sky Mall. I got all sorts of ideas for what I'd like to see under the tree this year, so mom & dad & Santa, I hope you're tuning in because these are some of the top items on my Christmas list for 2010!

Dog Genealogy Kit
I often wonder just where my Bella has come from. I know her mother was a black lab named Bonqueshia Williams, (No, I'm not kidding) but what about her illegitimate father? For only $59.95 we can finally answer the question of where exactly this love-puppy came from. I don' know about you, but i think this whole genealogy kit may just be one big Maury episode waiting to happen.

Hidden Litter Box

Now, I'm not the biggest fan of cats. They're kinda moody and sometimes kinda are their litter boxes. Who really wants to see litter boxes lying around the house & smelling up the place? So, thank the Lord for Sky Mall for finding the only solution to this problem. A "Hidden" Litter Box...this litter box has been cleverly designed to look like a house plant! Okay, heres my question. Now that you have a decoy to distract people from your smelly litter boxes, how will you distract your house guests from your plants that SMELL like smelly litter boxes? Oy, it never ends. Oh well, I like this product anyways and it can be yours all yours for a measly... $129.95 - $249.95!? Okay, they're pretty confident in this product. Good luck, Sky Mall.moving on...

The Slanket
I only post this picture in order to prepare you all for my next wish list item. I have a Snuggie. I shamelessly wear it in my dorm sometimes. Believe it or not, I have always been a Snuggie advocate. (I know this is the Slanket, not the Snuggie, but they're trying) So anyways, I love my Snuggie and I have always had this idea to invent a Cuddly. Long story short, the Cuddly is the Snuggie for 2. It is twice as wide and has four arm holes instead of two, so that couples can hold each other while watching t.v. or lounging, or raising the roof while camping, or doing the cabbage patch at their kids sporting event like you see on all of the commercials. I have had this idea for over a year. I have told lots of people about it and I even wrote a sales pitch about it for an English project freshman year. so all of that to show you my next item...

The Slanket.. SIAMESE!?!
Four sleeves, twice as large, cheesy couple!? This is the CUDDLY!!!...I don't want to talk about it.

The Brobdingnagian Sports Chair

The kind of people I imagine who would buy a chair like this are the same kinds of people who own Hummers. I just don't get those people. Who needs a 5 foot chair for a sporting event?! Are you having trouble seeing? Maybe just get there a bit early and sit in the front row? But in all seriousness, the only thing more embarrassing than doing the cabbage patch in your "Slanket" at your child's sporting event is doing the cabbage patch in your "Slanket" at your child's sporting event in the Brobdingnagian Sports Chair. Also, its got a 9 square foot seat so that you can share your chair with a friend...heck, while you're at it, bring your "Slanket Siamese" and party it up. Well worth the 149.95 plus shipping I'm sure.

The Darth Vader Toaster
Nerds rejoice! Sky Mall has heard your plea for delicious toast with your favorite dark lords face burnt into it. If there's something every Sith Lord knows how to do it's make a balanced breakfast! At only $54.99 I think I've found my go-to gift for those impossible people to buy gifts for.

Hoodie Footie Pajamas
I honestly really do love these. I have been looking for footie pajamas for like, two years now. Honestly, its like the Slanket on steroids. Keeping you warm from hood to toe! The only thing missing is a trap door in the back, but hey, I'll take what I can get. When I opened the magazine to this page I was almost elated until I read the price...79.95! Maybe I'll just go to Hobby Lobby, buy some fleece (which is almost always 50% off anyway) and just snuggle up in that. To top it off, if you are a size Large or larger, you have to pay $84.95!! Sheesh, talk about adding insult to injury. Sky Mall, you are killing me here.
However, if you are on a modest budget and still want some hoodie footie pajamas, you can always buy them for your precious pooch for about 30 dollars less
The Digital Spoon Scale

I actually do just really want one of these.
so Mom, Dad & Santy Claus, I hope you've been listening. This is sure to be the Merriest Christmas of all.

Anywho, back to the trip...
I landed in Dallas around 9:15am and planned to meet my friend John Kemp at the luggage carousel. However, he had to wait a second for me to get there because the Dallas airport is AWESOME! The second I stepped into the terminal there was a candy shop in front of me located right next door to a shop called Kid's Zoo! This airport really puts MSY to shame...actually pretty much all other airports put the New Orleans airport to shame! So I continued my shopping trip by browsing in Brooks Brothers and a bookstore, sorry about the wait, John! So here I was, finally in Dallas, and my adventure was only just beginning...

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